Studying body language for the past fifteen years has given me a thorough understanding of who someone is. Mind you, my expertise is in individuals lying, but a body talking doesn’t just stop once the interview or interrogation is done. It is a part of who we are, and more so, people give off clues everyday into the type of person they are, what they really think about something, and more than anything, their interest in the other party.
No, this isn’t going to be a blog post about how to catch someone lying. *laughs* I wanted to touch on how to portray yourself in a confident manner, and how to get that guy to go ga-ga. Moreover, how you can drive him crazy without saying a single word.
I completed a bit of research on this, and by research, I mean yes, I asked a few of my guy friends. (Trust me; I’m surrounded by alpha males all day long.) With each, we’ll give them a name by their professions: the Investigator, the Federal Agent, a Banker, and a military dude. They were asked the same question: What can a woman do to show you she is interested?
I wanted to include their answers, so you all could see their actual responses, and so they could get their five minutes. *grin*
- Investigator: Confidence. There is nothing sexier than a woman who can hold herself in a conversation. It’s even better if she can keep up with my friends.
- Federal Agent: It’s all about eye contact. There’s definitely a way to make that connection from across a room. Female gives a flirtatious smile. A guy will probably smirk when he gets it. Goes the same for someone they know who’s developed interest. A graze of the thigh, a warm breath of air just below the earlobe, all clues to we’re totally banging tonight.
- Banker: Sometimes a slight lick of the lips will grab his attention.
- Military: Touch me. Don’t make it seem like you’re all over or hanging off of me, but brush your hand against my ass, laugh and lean into my chest. All of it will get me thinking of other things we could be doing—behind closed doors.
Men are very physical creatures. I’m sure this isn’t new to anyone. This is a trait that has carried through the years, and I am sure will continue for the next however many to the future. A lot of body language can give guys a lot more of a conversation than you think you’re saying.
For instance, what’s to say you don’t come on to him using a bit of nonverbal clues? There’s no need to talk all the time, to give a direct approach to wanting your guy. Instead, why not slightly brush a finger along your collarbone? Bend over in a skirt? Primp yourself in the morning only wearing a bra and pants? Cross your legs and touch the outside of a thigh? Bite or lick your lip. All these things will draw his attention. It isn’t because you’re blatantly putting it out there, but more so, you are giving him a “push” into noticing what a confident woman you are with your body.
Maintain that eye contact. Do not make it obvious you’re staring at him. Break away for natural pauses. Men like nothing more than someone who holds a keen interest in what they are saying, and the confidence to keep their gaze. While you’re talking, keep that contact (again, not forgetting to pause, much like breathe!) and lean into him. Show that subtle engagement that what he’s saying is keeping your attention. Hell, for all we know you may just be checking out his gorgeous eyes, or imagining kissing those plump lips, but in the end, no matter what, I’m sure he would be down for either.
Speaking of talking—why not do the exact opposite? Insert silence here. Think about it … what’s to say you can’t enjoy that piece of chocolate cake, while still driving him insane? There is nothing sexier than a woman who isn’t afraid to enjoy her food, but more so, hold his gaze while inserting—said food—into your mouth. Your eyes on his will show the engagement. While your mouth wrapping around the utensil will get his blood boiling.
Your stomach has too many butterflies to eat? His presence knocking your appetite away? Have fun playing the vixen in silence. While at a party chatting him up, pull out your phone and send him a text message. Studies have shown more people are bolder in electronic communication, such as text messages, email, etc., than in person. So shoot off that text telling him just how great his pants look wrapped around his backside.
Get physical. No, I don’t mean jump his bones—yet—but touch his hand while talking or laughing, brush along the side of his body. Keep things PG-13, and drive him nuts. He will wonder how your touch will feel on other parts of his body.
Compliment him. Don’t gush and drool over things. Instead, tell him how much you like his smile, or how the color of his eyes is riveting. Again, they will notice you are paying attention to them, and plus, every man likes to have his ego … pumped.
Grabbing on to one of the above is bound to show the confident woman you can be, as well as nonverbally relay just how much you like him. (And guys, this can work wonders in the opposite as well.)
So what is next? You caught his attention and now he is more than willing to return it?
Get naked with him. Guys are very visual creatures, and if you’re like most of the female race, chances are that once you are in the buff, you’re looking for a way to cover or hide certain “things.” Give him a few seconds to feast his eyes on you completely bare. He doesn’t see that bulge, girlfriend. Nor does he notice or care about the small amount of cellulite.
You naked and confident? It’s a surefire libido trigger.
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Check out my latest release, involving a team of very alpha males, Feral Craving.